he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize