ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
