Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
