I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
