We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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