:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
