ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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