I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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