a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
