I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
