I wannas sexs uuuuu
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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