Pants 0. Shit 1.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
