What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Last time i carry you out of a forest
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize