I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
