I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All I want is dick and wine.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize