This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
