It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
