she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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