The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
