We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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