At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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