Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize