I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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