i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
