Girls should come with a carfax report
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
