You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize