Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
