I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
