Your tits are I can't wait for
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
