1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
