Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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