just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
