WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
