Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize