My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
