he shaved USA in his pubs
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
