..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
