I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
