ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
