Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize