Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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