i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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