part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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