The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
