i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
