dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
