i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
