i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize