I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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