On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You can't motorboat a personality
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
