Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize