The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
