I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
