That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
