when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize