can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
