This is not my ceiling
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
