The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
