I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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