Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
