We won't sleep together?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
