Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize