So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
