im about as happy as oj after his trial
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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