even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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