so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
