I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
