Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
