I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
