Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He passed out mid-signature
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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