pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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