3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
