i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
