this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize